A Heart Changed: Adoption from a Grandfather's Perspective

(I wrote this two days ago and it was published in America World Adoption today and I want to share it on my blog. If you do not believe in Jesus as your Lord, I hope you chose Him soon. God Bless and have a wonderful Christmas. )

My daughter and son-in-law adopted a little two-and-a-half-year-old girl in 2008 from China. She had severe heart defects and cleft lip and palate. When they first told us they were starting the adoption in the summer of 2007, I was not on board for a while. I very quickly came to terms with the idea and am today blessed to be called "Papa" by this wonderful little girl who is now five years old and very healthy. I love my youngest granddaughter very much.

Sometime in 2009 my daughter and son-in-law told us they were adopting again—this time, a ten-year-old boy from China. I was really not wanting to hear that. I thought this child was too old and we have five grandchildren already, including their three children and my oldest daughter's two children. I didn’t want any more; five was definitely enough. But late in 2009 they began to talk and pray about trying to adopt a five-year-old boy at the same time as their then waiting ten-year-old son. I thought they were crazy. I really thought they had gone off the deep end. I sure didn’t want two more grandsons at the same time! I had five grandchildren already.

To be completely honest, I hated the idea. I prayed about it and even talked to my minister. I discussed it with my wife also, but she did not agree with my feelings at all. I struggled with the idea of another grandchild or two by adoption for months. I did not tell my daughter how I felt but she knew I was not happy about it. Despite my feelings, the adoption took place and I found myself having seven grandchildren when I was completely satisfied with having the four and then five after our granddaughter arrived back in 2008.

Our two newest grandsons came home in July 2010. I found myself having to decide if I was going to try to love the boys. It didn’t take long to see it was going to be impossible not to love the older one. He was so loving to everyone it was impossible to resist his love. I thought to myself, "Well I will love him but I am not so sure about the five year old." The Lord really does have a sense of humor and here is why. I really didn’t want to have anything to do with our youngest new grandson, so I tried not to reach out to him in any way. In a very short time, he began calling me "Papa" just like his little sister (who is 4 months younger than him). Since the boys came home in the summer and we have a pool, my daughters and our grandchildren spent quite a bit of time hanging out here at the house. The more I resisted our youngest grandson, the five-year-old, the more he followed me everywhere I went all the time saying, "PAPA! PAPA!". I knew I had to give up and let him into my heart also. And I am so thankful I did!

The Lord put him in my life so quickly I could not resist. I am very happy to have both of my new grandsons now. I am still somewhat troubled with knowing how hard it has been on my daughter and her family during the transition, but I know they are blessed to have their five children. They are great parents. They really have a heart for adoption and I am glad to be a part of the process.

Promised Post

It has been a long time since my last post. I am going to do it now. I have had some new experiences in the last year since my bad accident. I have recovered very nicely from that even though many things still linger and be with me always. I am so thankful though for the recovery I have.

First a little light humor. November 14, 2007 my father passed away. He was 89. November 14, 2008, I had just been released from Vanderbilt Hospital from the accident. November 14, 2009, I was in the hospital. November 14 just happens to be my wife's birthday. She said she wanted a turn next year and I said I will be glad to give you a turn in the barrel. That is not what she had in mind. I will try to make it up to you honey next year. November does not seem to be our month.

Now about my latest stay in the hospital. I got very sick with my all in my stomach area and went to the Doctor. He put me on antibiotics and it continued to get worse. I went back and was sent to be admitted to the hospital. I was diagnosed with a perforated colon and a leakage into my lining. I was very sick. They started putting antibiotics through my veins. Put me on a liquid diet for 5 days. The abscess was almost obscurred because of all the pelvic bone. Now I am going to start to tell you about prayer. My doctor said I can't get to it. I would have to put holes in things that would make it worse. We may have to operate and cut the diseased part out, drain the infection and put a colostomy on you for a while. I said there must be another way. I convinced him to take me down to the ct scan and get with a great radiologist and they scanned and said there was a very small window to go through. He was able to put a pipe into my stomach and start the draining process. I had my friends, church friends and even nursed praying for me that it would work. It did work and God answered those prayers that instant. Thank you GOD!

I was losing weight from not eating and again asked if there was anything that could be done so I would be fed. The doctor said yes we will put a pic line in your vein to feed you. They did and immediately I got a blood clot in my chest, which is still there being treated. I was getting very depressed at that point and asked my doctor to put me on xanax to ease up the anxiety. She did and that helped. Remember I had not taken it for over a year and I did not want to be dependent again. I am not, I have gotten off of it again. After a few more days I ate solid food and was sent home with meds. and on Coumadin for thinning the blood along with 10 shots of Lovenox to be but in my stomach which I administered. I stayed in the hospital 9 days. My stomach was not getting well and after a week at home I developed hives all over my arms and legs which itched really bad. I went to another Doctor and got meds for that, and more meds for that and more meds for that. Get the picture. Very distraught and getting angry too. I was not healing at all. Now I am getting to the best part. During all this illness I did not take my eyes off God. He was my constant strength. Jesus lifted me up daily. On Monday a week and a half ago we went somewhere all day. I was very tired and sick that night. My stomach hurt and I itched all time. Our dear friends of 40 years were with us and C. said I want to pray for you Larry for God to ease your pain right now. I said please do and I will believe it will be done also. The Bible says that we have to believe it will happen and it will. We most of the time do not really believe He will do it. He prayed as if God Himself was sitting in the room. I felt Him there. They live 20 minutes from me. I call him when he got home and said C. the pain is gone and the itching is stopped. The next afternoon the itch and spots from were almost healed. I am still taking my medicine for the hives because it has to stay gone. The meds will do that. My stomach is not well but has not hurt much since that night. I know God stopped that immediately. I gave a testomony in my church Sunday on this matter. God answers some things on His time table but that night He answered it on mine and I am grateful to Him. Thank you God for always being there for us. If you don't believe in Jesus, I pray you will some day and those who read this, when times get hard and you are unable to cope remember there is someone who cares. He will lift you up. God Bless you all and have a wonderful Christmas. Your friend, Larry

A long time

I haven't written in quite a while and am not today will soon. I have some things I would like to tell everyone but am now quite ready to do so. I will soon I promise. Papa

A year ago today

One year ago today I fell on the driveway behind my house on my face and hands. I broke all the face bones but two and broke my nose, ribs and both wrists. I was in Vanderbilt hospital for 10 days. I was almost killed. I am very thankful for my recovery. I am left with some debilitating injuries but I can manage them. I had 4 surgery's to repair the injuries. My face isn't much different as far as looks but it is numb and very sensitive at the same time if that makes sense. My jaws hurt some and so do my wrists but "I can do all things through God who strengthens me." I do believe that and that is why I did not die that day. God had more for me to do. I think he wanted me to tell others about Him and how He saved me that day from death. I know I would have died if I had hit a little different. I fell 15 feet on concrete. The Lord was watching out for me that day. For those who read this who didn't know I had a 16 foot ladder on a table about 30 inches tall and was up on it to the top and it slipped. I am not that stupid as to do a foolish thing but I had a 5 minute job and cut corners. I paid the price. If you want to cut corners and do things unsafe think of me and how your life can change in two seconds. That is how long it was until I was on my face. Don't do it. I think I have helped many people who think of me when they start to do dangerous jobs. I know some people at my church has told me that. I am glad I have been an encouragement to others. Remember God has a plan for all of our lives, we only have to ask and he will reveal it to you. Lean on God and Jesus and they will guide you through life. God bless those who read this and to those who have encouraged me through the first few weeks of my accident. I am greatful. Larry Darnell

Armadillo

We saw this creature in our front yard yesterday. He was eating ants and the like. I was told by TWRA that they ate ants, yellow jackets, termites, fire ants, and the like. He moved very slow and didn't mind that we were three feet from him. He just kept eating and after a while moved on to another yard. I wish our G'kids could have seen him or her. They migrated up from Texas.

We had a great time camping. Papa and Grammy

A Camping we will go

We are going camping this Friday with all the family, that is all my family. L and L, the g'kids and us. We are going to camp Friday night and come home Saturday afternoon. I haven't been camping for probably 25 years. We all have tents to use. When I did go years ago we had a camper that slept 6 people. Our girls did enjoy it. We would build a campfire as we will probably do this time and would go swimming as I don't know if I will do since I have one in my back yard now. Any way we will have a great time with family. I am doing amazingly well now. I can do most anything but not without pain. That is a part of my life but I don't let it worry me. I am truly blessed to be able to do many things. I give all the praise to God who saved me and continually watches over all of us. Papa

It has been a long time since I have been on my blog. I am updating you on my life now. I have gotten my bridge in the front of my mouth and also my two partial plates. I can eat better now but the teeth seem very strange since I was without them for eight months. I have recovered very well. I still have some lingering difficulties. I can live with them though.

We had our annual fourth-of-July get-to-gather and has a really good day. We have celebrated many birthdays since I was last on. The oldest member was J.C. my wife's dad who turned 90. He is doing good for that age.

We are working in vacation bib*le sch*ool at our church this week. It is at night this year. We are having a fairly good turn out. Though it is better in the day time. I am the photographer. I have taken many pictures.

My pastor asked for us to tell one person this week how we came to know Jesus. I promised I would and I decided to tell everyone who reads this blog.

I was 13 years old when one revival day my mom talked me into going up and confessing to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I did it for her but I was not saved. I married at 20 and my wife and I attended church sometime. She was a Christian. I was being convicted that I needed Him and one Sunday I went forward and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and was baptised. Many years passed and I felt saved at times and others not. I as you may know from previous blogs suffer from depression and anxiety. I had a really bad bout with this for a year or so when my children were very young. I was at work one day and felt compelled to go to my church and meet with my pastor. I did and met with him in his office. I was suffering from depression at that time. I felt again that I was not saved. I poured out my heart and again accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. Now you do not have to do this but once if it is real the first time. I cannot tell you which time it was real. I do know that I know God and Jesus. I know He helped me through depression and my accident. I still suffer from depression. I still have doubts weather I am saved of not and people tell me if you are you know without a doubt that you are but I tell you and them that if you have illnesses like depression and anxiety you do not always think rationally. You have to walk a mile in other peoples shoes to know their feelings. So if you are a Christian and having doubts in this matter, you cannot keep being saved over and over as I was trying to do, three times in fact. You have to finally come to the conclusion that you are and that is that. I do not know how you do that because I haven't been able to but I am trying. I hear people talk about how they know without a doubt and I long for that even though I know I am saved. I hope I haven't confused anyone. In closing to know that you know that you know (an old saying) is very hard for me and I imagine it is for many of you. That is my conversion experience and I hope that it has help others and not hurt. I am a Christian who struggles with different things each day, but if you trust God to guide you He will.

Your friend, Larry