A Heart Changed: Adoption from a Grandfather's Perspective

(I wrote this two days ago and it was published in America World Adoption today and I want to share it on my blog. If you do not believe in Jesus as your Lord, I hope you chose Him soon. God Bless and have a wonderful Christmas. )

My daughter and son-in-law adopted a little two-and-a-half-year-old girl in 2008 from China. She had severe heart defects and cleft lip and palate. When they first told us they were starting the adoption in the summer of 2007, I was not on board for a while. I very quickly came to terms with the idea and am today blessed to be called "Papa" by this wonderful little girl who is now five years old and very healthy. I love my youngest granddaughter very much.

Sometime in 2009 my daughter and son-in-law told us they were adopting again—this time, a ten-year-old boy from China. I was really not wanting to hear that. I thought this child was too old and we have five grandchildren already, including their three children and my oldest daughter's two children. I didn’t want any more; five was definitely enough. But late in 2009 they began to talk and pray about trying to adopt a five-year-old boy at the same time as their then waiting ten-year-old son. I thought they were crazy. I really thought they had gone off the deep end. I sure didn’t want two more grandsons at the same time! I had five grandchildren already.

To be completely honest, I hated the idea. I prayed about it and even talked to my minister. I discussed it with my wife also, but she did not agree with my feelings at all. I struggled with the idea of another grandchild or two by adoption for months. I did not tell my daughter how I felt but she knew I was not happy about it. Despite my feelings, the adoption took place and I found myself having seven grandchildren when I was completely satisfied with having the four and then five after our granddaughter arrived back in 2008.

Our two newest grandsons came home in July 2010. I found myself having to decide if I was going to try to love the boys. It didn’t take long to see it was going to be impossible not to love the older one. He was so loving to everyone it was impossible to resist his love. I thought to myself, "Well I will love him but I am not so sure about the five year old." The Lord really does have a sense of humor and here is why. I really didn’t want to have anything to do with our youngest new grandson, so I tried not to reach out to him in any way. In a very short time, he began calling me "Papa" just like his little sister (who is 4 months younger than him). Since the boys came home in the summer and we have a pool, my daughters and our grandchildren spent quite a bit of time hanging out here at the house. The more I resisted our youngest grandson, the five-year-old, the more he followed me everywhere I went all the time saying, "PAPA! PAPA!". I knew I had to give up and let him into my heart also. And I am so thankful I did!

The Lord put him in my life so quickly I could not resist. I am very happy to have both of my new grandsons now. I am still somewhat troubled with knowing how hard it has been on my daughter and her family during the transition, but I know they are blessed to have their five children. They are great parents. They really have a heart for adoption and I am glad to be a part of the process.

Promised Post

It has been a long time since my last post. I am going to do it now. I have had some new experiences in the last year since my bad accident. I have recovered very nicely from that even though many things still linger and be with me always. I am so thankful though for the recovery I have.

First a little light humor. November 14, 2007 my father passed away. He was 89. November 14, 2008, I had just been released from Vanderbilt Hospital from the accident. November 14, 2009, I was in the hospital. November 14 just happens to be my wife's birthday. She said she wanted a turn next year and I said I will be glad to give you a turn in the barrel. That is not what she had in mind. I will try to make it up to you honey next year. November does not seem to be our month.

Now about my latest stay in the hospital. I got very sick with my all in my stomach area and went to the Doctor. He put me on antibiotics and it continued to get worse. I went back and was sent to be admitted to the hospital. I was diagnosed with a perforated colon and a leakage into my lining. I was very sick. They started putting antibiotics through my veins. Put me on a liquid diet for 5 days. The abscess was almost obscurred because of all the pelvic bone. Now I am going to start to tell you about prayer. My doctor said I can't get to it. I would have to put holes in things that would make it worse. We may have to operate and cut the diseased part out, drain the infection and put a colostomy on you for a while. I said there must be another way. I convinced him to take me down to the ct scan and get with a great radiologist and they scanned and said there was a very small window to go through. He was able to put a pipe into my stomach and start the draining process. I had my friends, church friends and even nursed praying for me that it would work. It did work and God answered those prayers that instant. Thank you GOD!

I was losing weight from not eating and again asked if there was anything that could be done so I would be fed. The doctor said yes we will put a pic line in your vein to feed you. They did and immediately I got a blood clot in my chest, which is still there being treated. I was getting very depressed at that point and asked my doctor to put me on xanax to ease up the anxiety. She did and that helped. Remember I had not taken it for over a year and I did not want to be dependent again. I am not, I have gotten off of it again. After a few more days I ate solid food and was sent home with meds. and on Coumadin for thinning the blood along with 10 shots of Lovenox to be but in my stomach which I administered. I stayed in the hospital 9 days. My stomach was not getting well and after a week at home I developed hives all over my arms and legs which itched really bad. I went to another Doctor and got meds for that, and more meds for that and more meds for that. Get the picture. Very distraught and getting angry too. I was not healing at all. Now I am getting to the best part. During all this illness I did not take my eyes off God. He was my constant strength. Jesus lifted me up daily. On Monday a week and a half ago we went somewhere all day. I was very tired and sick that night. My stomach hurt and I itched all time. Our dear friends of 40 years were with us and C. said I want to pray for you Larry for God to ease your pain right now. I said please do and I will believe it will be done also. The Bible says that we have to believe it will happen and it will. We most of the time do not really believe He will do it. He prayed as if God Himself was sitting in the room. I felt Him there. They live 20 minutes from me. I call him when he got home and said C. the pain is gone and the itching is stopped. The next afternoon the itch and spots from were almost healed. I am still taking my medicine for the hives because it has to stay gone. The meds will do that. My stomach is not well but has not hurt much since that night. I know God stopped that immediately. I gave a testomony in my church Sunday on this matter. God answers some things on His time table but that night He answered it on mine and I am grateful to Him. Thank you God for always being there for us. If you don't believe in Jesus, I pray you will some day and those who read this, when times get hard and you are unable to cope remember there is someone who cares. He will lift you up. God Bless you all and have a wonderful Christmas. Your friend, Larry

A long time

I haven't written in quite a while and am not today will soon. I have some things I would like to tell everyone but am now quite ready to do so. I will soon I promise. Papa

A year ago today

One year ago today I fell on the driveway behind my house on my face and hands. I broke all the face bones but two and broke my nose, ribs and both wrists. I was in Vanderbilt hospital for 10 days. I was almost killed. I am very thankful for my recovery. I am left with some debilitating injuries but I can manage them. I had 4 surgery's to repair the injuries. My face isn't much different as far as looks but it is numb and very sensitive at the same time if that makes sense. My jaws hurt some and so do my wrists but "I can do all things through God who strengthens me." I do believe that and that is why I did not die that day. God had more for me to do. I think he wanted me to tell others about Him and how He saved me that day from death. I know I would have died if I had hit a little different. I fell 15 feet on concrete. The Lord was watching out for me that day. For those who read this who didn't know I had a 16 foot ladder on a table about 30 inches tall and was up on it to the top and it slipped. I am not that stupid as to do a foolish thing but I had a 5 minute job and cut corners. I paid the price. If you want to cut corners and do things unsafe think of me and how your life can change in two seconds. That is how long it was until I was on my face. Don't do it. I think I have helped many people who think of me when they start to do dangerous jobs. I know some people at my church has told me that. I am glad I have been an encouragement to others. Remember God has a plan for all of our lives, we only have to ask and he will reveal it to you. Lean on God and Jesus and they will guide you through life. God bless those who read this and to those who have encouraged me through the first few weeks of my accident. I am greatful. Larry Darnell

Armadillo

We saw this creature in our front yard yesterday. He was eating ants and the like. I was told by TWRA that they ate ants, yellow jackets, termites, fire ants, and the like. He moved very slow and didn't mind that we were three feet from him. He just kept eating and after a while moved on to another yard. I wish our G'kids could have seen him or her. They migrated up from Texas.

We had a great time camping. Papa and Grammy

A Camping we will go

We are going camping this Friday with all the family, that is all my family. L and L, the g'kids and us. We are going to camp Friday night and come home Saturday afternoon. I haven't been camping for probably 25 years. We all have tents to use. When I did go years ago we had a camper that slept 6 people. Our girls did enjoy it. We would build a campfire as we will probably do this time and would go swimming as I don't know if I will do since I have one in my back yard now. Any way we will have a great time with family. I am doing amazingly well now. I can do most anything but not without pain. That is a part of my life but I don't let it worry me. I am truly blessed to be able to do many things. I give all the praise to God who saved me and continually watches over all of us. Papa

It has been a long time since I have been on my blog. I am updating you on my life now. I have gotten my bridge in the front of my mouth and also my two partial plates. I can eat better now but the teeth seem very strange since I was without them for eight months. I have recovered very well. I still have some lingering difficulties. I can live with them though.

We had our annual fourth-of-July get-to-gather and has a really good day. We have celebrated many birthdays since I was last on. The oldest member was J.C. my wife's dad who turned 90. He is doing good for that age.

We are working in vacation bib*le sch*ool at our church this week. It is at night this year. We are having a fairly good turn out. Though it is better in the day time. I am the photographer. I have taken many pictures.

My pastor asked for us to tell one person this week how we came to know Jesus. I promised I would and I decided to tell everyone who reads this blog.

I was 13 years old when one revival day my mom talked me into going up and confessing to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I did it for her but I was not saved. I married at 20 and my wife and I attended church sometime. She was a Christian. I was being convicted that I needed Him and one Sunday I went forward and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior and was baptised. Many years passed and I felt saved at times and others not. I as you may know from previous blogs suffer from depression and anxiety. I had a really bad bout with this for a year or so when my children were very young. I was at work one day and felt compelled to go to my church and meet with my pastor. I did and met with him in his office. I was suffering from depression at that time. I felt again that I was not saved. I poured out my heart and again accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior. Now you do not have to do this but once if it is real the first time. I cannot tell you which time it was real. I do know that I know God and Jesus. I know He helped me through depression and my accident. I still suffer from depression. I still have doubts weather I am saved of not and people tell me if you are you know without a doubt that you are but I tell you and them that if you have illnesses like depression and anxiety you do not always think rationally. You have to walk a mile in other peoples shoes to know their feelings. So if you are a Christian and having doubts in this matter, you cannot keep being saved over and over as I was trying to do, three times in fact. You have to finally come to the conclusion that you are and that is that. I do not know how you do that because I haven't been able to but I am trying. I hear people talk about how they know without a doubt and I long for that even though I know I am saved. I hope I haven't confused anyone. In closing to know that you know that you know (an old saying) is very hard for me and I imagine it is for many of you. That is my conversion experience and I hope that it has help others and not hurt. I am a Christian who struggles with different things each day, but if you trust God to guide you He will.

Your friend, Larry

Susannah's Surgery

Today at 12:00 Susannah our granddaughter is to have lip and nose surgery to repair a cleft she was born with. She is a special little girl. She has already had heart surgery. She is doing great from that. She will have to be put to sleep again. We know everything will be fine but are still a little nervous. We would like to ask the readers and friends to lift up Susannah, Charllie, Leslie, Johah and Jackson today as she is in surgery. Please pray for the doctors, anesthetist and team today that all will be in accordance with God's will. We give thanks to God for bringing her here to her mom and dad and brothers. We thank you for all the prayers and concerns. Her grandparents, Papa and Grammy

Therapy Thursday

I am having therapy for the last time on my hands and jaws today. I am glad that is coming to a close even though I have enjoyed getting to know some really nice people at the clinic. I still have to exercise my hands and jaws 2 or 3 times a day for some time to come. I am much better but it will take some months to get to 80 or 90 percent. I will never be like I was before the accident. I went to my eye surgeon Monday and she was very pleased with the outcome and said she didn't think I would need any more surgery. I can see pretty good. I still have double vision if I look very far up or side to side but that is OK. I can deal with that. My hand doctor dismissed me yesterday.

The things that I have been through have been life changing and I do now wish that on anyone. I have gained much strength through all of it and have grown some patience. I have learned to be content in all things, well almost all things. I have learned to evaluate everything that I do now and think is there any danger here and could I get hurt. I do things much more carefully now. I was hurt cutting corners. DON'T DO IT. Do it the safe way. I am left with a numb face, hands that hurt a lot, have limited use and an eye that is less than perfect. I still have to go through the teeth process too.

I am not complaining. I am still very thankful for the recovery that I have had thus far and for God looking over me. I am told very often that I was saved from the fall to do something. God is not through with you. I hear that a lot. I believe it too. I asked God OK what is it that you want of me. It was a long time before the answer came to me but it did. He said all I want is for you to tell everyone you come in contact with who I am and what I did for you. I have tried to do that with people. I do it through this blog which is a very good tool. I do appreciate all who read this and hope I bless someone each time I write. Thanks for all your prayers. Larry

Making progress on Monday

I am making much progress today. My eye is much better and am seeing more clearly. I can look side to side and up and down now and see some without double vision. I am confident that it will continue to improve. I look forward to complete recovery but if it does not get any better than it is now I am so grateful because it is 100 percent better than it was before the surgery. It still is watery and running some but no pain to speak of. I do not have pain very much. I am glad for that too. Most of the pain from all the troubles have been jaw pain. It is much, much better now. The next milestone to cross is getting more teeth. I am looking forward to that. It will be done in the next two months. I know now what it means to be content in all things and give thanks always. I am not a patient person but I have grown patients through the trials I have had since November 3. A couple more weeks of hand and jaw therapy and I will be through with that. Please pray for a friend named David who is in grave condition at Vanderbilt hospital. No matter what condition you find yourself in there is always someone who is worse and needs your help. Helping others helps you to heal also. Thanks for replying in Leslies blog about my condition. I am grateful for you all. Thanks, Larry

Day after sergury

Surgery went really well. The people who attended me at Vanderbi*t were wonderful. I have no complaints of my care. They took two hours to lift and move outward my right eye to alignment. I can see straight ahead now. It is still blurred which is normal. I still have double vision when I look up, down, left and right but the dr. said we would have to wait a week or two to see if that corrects. If now I will have to have muscle surgery also. I am so thankful for the straight vision. I do not have to tilt my head to see anymore. I was very apprehensive about being put under again general so close to the other one where I saw weird things in my room. I thought the room and bed and covers were made of Lego blocks and the walls were red with moving lines in them. In the back of my mind I was afraid I would not wake up. So I had my preacher and best friend pray for peace about that. Many others were also including Brenda and I. Well to show you how powerful prayer is while I was waiting to get into surgery the anesthetist came into the room to talk to me. She left and some few minutes later she came back and said I remember you. I put you to sleep the first time you were hurt. Well the peace came immediately because I knew she was present when I was under 12 hours. So if you still don't believe in prayer I don't know how to convince you. That hospital is too large and so many people who put you under for that to be a coindense. That is my testimony of the day. I am doing well and am still thankful for all God has done for me this far. God Bless each who reads this message. I am enclosing a funny pix and a pix of me after surgery. One is a glove wrong side out filled with ice which I have to put on 40 min and off 20 min through tomorrow. I was eating supper and felt something funny on my face and it was a finger of the glove that had melted ice and and fell down. I still have a sense of humor. Papa

The Day Before

I am having surgery on my eye tomorrow at 11:30 AM. Please pray that it will be successful and my eyes line up so I can see clearly. My wife's dad J.C. is in the hospital for the last two days with heart failure. He is better and has to be on oxygen. He is 89 years old. She has to put him in rehab for a few days. Pray for her strength to take care of her dad and for her having to be with me tomorrow also. She is very tired now. We believe strongly in the power of prayer and lean on God for all things.

Our good friend just lost her husband who was only 39 to kidney failure and a stroke yesterday. He battled cancer and kidney failure for several years. He had beaten the cancer but all took such a toll on his body that it failed. He is in the arms of God today and that gives the family comfort. They do grieve for him. He left a wife, two boys and many other kin people. Please pray for his family. The funeral is Saturday. Thanks for all the support. Larry (Papa)

Hand Therapy and Eye Surgery

Pix has nothing to do with my problems I am just
thinking about the next 4th of July.


I am going to hand therapy two times a week now. It is very strenuous bending on my hands and I have to go through several exercises on them at home also. It takes me 2 hours a day to do all of it. They are getting much better. My right hand has allot of strengthening and loosening up to do but it is getting there. I went to my eye surgeon yesterday. I have eye surgery on Feb. 20 which happens to be my 66Th birthday. I will be real glad to be able to see single vision without tilting my head back. She said it is a 23 hour deal. I will be put under general anesthesia. She said that I might have to have some muscle surgery later if the vision is not completely corrected. My right eye is 10 mm lower than the left. It will be lifted and tilted somewhat. My jaws are healing but I still have some difficulty on the left side. The joint was completely destroyed. I can eat but have to be careful. I am still thankful to be alive and able to tell everyone my struggles and how I am overcoming them. It is also very important for me to tell you it is with the help of God and Jesus my savior that I am able to be thankful and very hopeful for a full recovery. If not a full the very best that I can have. I know that he is with me and has been through all of my trials. I will update after eye surgery. Larry

Metal Free

All the metal that is coming out and off is gone. I am glad for that. Of course I have permanent metal in my left hand and all in my mouth. I am starting the teeth process soon. I am letting my jaws heal more before I start. I have had an appointment with the eye sergeon. I am going to have eye surgery. I was hoping glasses were an option but she said they would be very thick and they might not correct my vision. My right eye is 10mm lower than the left and the mussels do not lift it correctly. That is why I have double vision. She thinks she can correct most of the problem. I will have to be put under general anesthesia, and will be in the hospital for a night. My left jaw and right wrist is still painful and stiff. I have read and been told that it will take up to a year to heal from those two things. The lack of feeling in my face is probably permanent. I wish it were better but I will take what comes and be glad to be alive and getting better. I am gaining more use of my hands. I am actually typing and I mean correctly using keys. I took typing my junior and senior years in high school. It does come in handy. I was a typist in the army. That kept me out of allot of harder jobs. I appreciate all who read this blog. Fell free to comment at any time. Larry

O

ON GOING PROGRESS

I saw my doctors yesterday and got the braces removed from teeth. I have several cracked teeth. I will probably have all 18 that I have pulled and get false teeth. I got 5 pins which are pictured, out of my wrist, the longest is 3" long. The bar has to stay one more week. I am so ready for that to be gone. I have an appointment Jan 20 with the eye surgeon to talk about eye sight correction. I see double unless I tilt my head back, which is taking a toll on my neck.

I am recovering very well. I am still very thankful for all the prayers and encouragement from everyone. God bless and I will update more later. Papa

NEW YEAR 2009

May all who read this blog have a Happy and Blessed New Year.

THANKFUL TODAY

I am thankful today that I am here to celebrate Christmas with my family. We will gather later in the afternoon through tomorrow's Christmas eve service at our church with our daughters and their family, along with Brenda's dad J.C. We will eat, fellowship, exchange presents and have fun during this time. I thank all my family for all the encouragement and help during my recovery. I thank God for allowing me to continue with the rest of my life.

I am recovering nicely. I have one arm out of everything and it still is stiff and hurts. My other arm still has pins and bar on it. Will come off Jan. 5. The braces come off my mouth Jan. 7. I am really looking forward to getting this done. I can eat now. I cannot eat hard things. I haven't got many teeth. I have 2 partials. My jaws are still real sore. I look forward to the day they don't hurt. I still see double if I don't tilt my head back. That makes my neck tired. I will have to have an operation on my eye to correct this at a later date.

It sounds like I am complaining but I am not. I am so happy to be doing this good. When I think of how it could be now I cringe. I could be paralyzed neck down, waist down, brain damaged, blind and the list goes on. So I am lucky to be in this shape. God was not through with me. I love to sing. I sing in the choir and I sing solos. I am using the talent He gave me to sing Oh Holy Night during the Christmas Eve service at our church. That is one thing God uses me for and I am happy to do it for Him.

In closing I wish all who visit this blog a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. May you feel the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ in your life during this season and throughout the year. God Bless from our home to yours, Larry and Brenda (Grammy and Papa)

Five weeks ago today

Notice the black cover on left arm, cast is off. I will get the bar and pins removed on right arm Monday. I will also get unwired the same day. I am hoping my mouth will work freely. I am a little nervous about that. My surgery was 5 weeks ago today. 2.5 weeks on right arm, second surgery. I cannot see clearly if I look straight ahead. I have to tilt my head back to see. My eye socket was crushed on right side. They can fix it with more surgeries later. I am hoping glasses can fix the double vision. Simply my right eye is not in the right place. I still have a way to go before I am well but am well on the way. I am still so thankful to God for all the prayers lifted and for sparing me for more use. I hear so many stories of people falling such short distances and getting paralyzed and even killed. It makes me cringe to hear that and know how far I fell. God was looking after me for sure.

I am able to dress myself now. I can do most of my hygiene duties. Grammy still blends my meals and still gives me a shower. I may want my shower continued after I am well. I know what all of you are thanking so quit it. I can use my hands some but not any heavy lifting. Hopefully I can do more after Monday. My hands are very stiff. I still do not have more than 50 percent of the feeling back in my face. It may take up to a year to get that back and some will never be back. That started to bother me and I just decided to not worry about that. For those who know me, I am a person who worries and some times gets depressed. I suffered from severe depression at age 30 for a year or so. I was given xanax for that and panic attacks which I had for years. It worked and the attacks subsided after some time. I continued taking the med for probably 15 more years because of fear of more attacks. If you never had panic attacks it is life shattering. Those that suffer know what I am saying. Anyway on to my reason for bringing this up. I was taking 3 mg daily when I was so sick. Over the years I tapered myself off to .25mg daily which is a very small amount. When I was in the hospital, I was not given any xanax. When I was being released the Dr. asked if I wanted a prescription for it and I said no because I had not taken any for 2 weeks. Praise GOD I am off of that very powerful addictive drug, however it is a great drug when you need it. I do not have panic attacks any more. I say that to say this. Through this tough time I have not been depressed, I have not complained very much and have not felt sorry for myself. I told Leslie one day that this mountain was very hard to climb and she said, Dad most of them are. How true, but what matters is How you climb it. I am climbing it with a purpose. The purpose is to do whatever God has left for me to do. I praise God for all who have prayed for me. I love you all, Larry

2 WEEKS AGO TODAY

THE LADDER I RODE DOWN TO CONCRETE

I was in the hospital in great pain awaiting surgery which came on Wednesday. I am thankful for all for your comments and prayers. I almost killed myself. All of you who cut corners to get the job done quickly in lieu of safety, don't do it. I put a ladder on a table to get done quickly. Guess what I didn't get done quick or even get it done at all. Yep, the job is still waiting.

In the blink of an eye your life can change. Mine did. I will probably recover fully over some months. I will forever be grateful to GOD for allowing me to live more. I love GOD an am blessed by Him. I have such a good family and they have been by my side. I thank you all. My wife has been the best during my illness. She is my helper. I love her very much.

I am recovering very quickly and am gaining strength every day. It is difficult to type with 2 fingers with arms casted. I went to worship service and bible study yesterday to every one's amazement. I thank you all. Papa